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ADOPTION & ASSISTED REPRODUCTIVE TECHNOLOGY (ART) ATTORNEYS

    Should I Become a Surrogate?

    9 August 2022

    "Should I become a surrogate mother?”


    In the end, only you can answer this highly personal question.


    But there are certain things you can think about as you make your decision. 


    Just as Intended Parents may work for years to welcome the new member of their families, prospective surrogates will often prepare for months or years before they decide that it is the right time for them. They may work with fertility clinics or directly with Intended Parents to help them grow their family.


    Let’s look at some of the biggest considerations that go into the decision:


     Your Age and Health


    The average age of a surrogate mother is around 30, but women in their mid-20s can also choose to be surrogates. Intended parents generally choose younger surrogates, but it is not unusual for women aged 40, 41, or 42 to be surrogates. Just be aware that the possibility of complications rises with age.


    Overall health is also a concern. The better your health, the smoother a pregnancy typically is. Plus, Intended Parents may be concerned about the possibility of heritable disorders, mental health issues, and more. You may be asked to substitute, reduce, or even discontinue certain medications.


     Your Finances and Life Plans


    Like any pregnancy, surrogacy has the potential to be disruptive to your work situation. You might need to take time off from work, starting with prenatal care appointments and ending with a full break from work as your due date approaches. Sometimes, bed rest may be required earlier in pregnancy.


    Some surrogate mothers get financial compensation, but this isn’t universal. Compensation may range anywhere from $30,000 to $50,000, plus medical expenses. The Intended Parents agree to pay for all costs related directly to prenatal care.


    If you have big goals you’ve been working on for a long time that are already in progress, like finishing a degree, you might wish to finish up before you make the commitment to become a surrogate. A rich history of life experiences can be helpful in connecting with the right family.


     Your Goals and Motivations


    Surrogacy brings the joys and uncertainties of other pregnancies. For the surrogate, the experience can be highly emotional and intense. You may develop a bond with the child, but consistent with the surrogacy agreement. Some surrogates will have no contact with a child after birth.


    It is a wise idea to spend some time sitting with the big questions about what surrogacy means to you and why you want to pursue it. Come to an understanding with yourself about what your expectations are – for example, if you wish to remain in contact with the Intended Parents after their baby is born.


     The Right Family for You


    Surrogacy is far easier and much more satisfying when you connect with the right Intended Parents. As the surrogate, you are making a decision about who you want to carry a child for and what kind of relationship you want with that family. Being a surrogate is an important responsibility to yourself, to the child, and to the child’s parents.


    It often takes more than one meeting before you will know for sure if a family is the right one for you and for them to feel the same about you. Both sides take their needs into account and make their choice. As you truly click with a family, it can give you confidence and peace of mind about the relationship and how it will affect the pregnancy.


    An ART attorney can advise prospective surrogates about their rights, responsibilities, and things to look out for. 

    27 March 2025
    While many parents believe that simply being listed on their child's birth certificate is enough to secure their legal rights, the reality is much more complicated. This is where the importance of confirmatory adoption comes into play.
    22 November 2024
    In today’s diverse family landscape, second-parent adoption has become an essential legal tool for many families, particularly for those formed through assisted reproduction, same-sex relationships, or blended families. At Modern Family Formation, we focus on adoption and assisted reproduction law across Virginia, Maryland, and the District of Columbia, and we recognize the critical importance of second-parent adoption for non-delivering parents. This legal process ensures that both parents in a family, regardless of biological connection, are recognized and protected under the law. Understanding Second-Parent Adoption Second-parent adoption, also called Confirmatory adoption, allows a non-delivering parent to gain legal recognition and parental rights without the need to terminate the rights of the biological parent. This type of adoption is particularly relevant in families where one parent is biologically related to the child, while the other is not. For example, in many same-sex couples, one partner may be the biological parent through assisted reproduction, while the other partner seeks to adopt the child to ensure equal legal standing. In some cases, the non-delivering or birth parent may be the genetic parent of the child, but will still need to adopt to secure their rights. Legal Security for Your Child The most compelling reason for second-parent adoption is the legal security it offers your child. If laws changed and your parentage was challenged, the Judgment or Order of Adoption would protect your family. This protection provided includes medical care, education, and even custody should something happen to the birthing parent. Second-parent adoption ensures that both parents can provide care and make crucial decisions throughout the child's life. Protection Across State Lines Family laws can vary significantly from state to state. Second-parent adoption creates a legally recognized relationship between a child and both parents, which is respected nationwide. This means your family can move or travel without worrying about the variability of state laws affecting your parental rights. Ensuring Inheritance Rights Without a legal parent-child relationship, a child may not automatically inherit from their non-birthing parent. Second-parent adoption safeguards a child’s right to receive an inheritance, social security benefits, or insurance payouts. It provides peace of mind knowing that, in the event of the unthinkable, your child’s financial future is protected. Emotional Stability and Recognition Beyond the legal aspects, second-parent adoption affirms the emotional bond in the family.. It validates the family unit in the eyes of society and gives the child a sense of stability and belonging. Knowing that both parents are recognized equally reinforces the child's understanding of their family structure. Facilitating Parental Responsibilities Day-to-day life involves countless interactions where parental authority is assumed or required. Picking up a child from school, authorizing a field trip, or attending a doctor’s appointment are all situations where having clear, legal parental status is essential. Second-parent adoption removes any ambiguity about who has the authority to act on behalf of the child. Preparing for the Future Life is unpredictable, and preparing for all eventualities is part of responsible parenting. Should the birthing parent become unable to care for the child due to illness or death, second-parent adoption ensures that the non-birthing parent retains full parental rights, avoiding potential custody battles with other relatives or the state. Health Insurance and Benefits Many employer health plans and government benefits extend coverage to a child only if there is a legal parent-child relationship. Second-parent adoption may become necessary for securing these benefits for your child, including health insurance, life insurance, and access to family leave if your legal relationship was challenged. Reflecting Real-Life Families Our society is evolving, and the concept of family is more inclusive than ever before. Second-parent adoption is a way for the law to catch up with reality, recognizing and protecting all family structures. It sends a message that all families, regardless of how they are formed, are valid and deserving of equal treatment under the law. Conclusion At Modern Family Formation, we believe that every family should have the opportunity to secure their bonds through the full extent of the law. Second-parent adoption is not just a legal formality; it's a crucial step in safeguarding the well-being of children and the rights of non-biological parents. It's about ensuring that love, not just biology, defines what it means to be a family. If you're considering second-parent adoption, know that you're taking a powerful step towards protecting your family's future. If you have questions or would like to learn more about second-parent adoption, please contact Modern Family Formation today!
    10 September 2024
    Adoption is a profound journey that reshapes family boundaries, often bringing immense joy and fulfillment. Among the various forms of adoption, kinship adoption stands out as a unique opportunity to maintain biological family ties while providing children with the stability and love they need. As an adoption attorney, I have witnessed firsthand the transformative power of kinship adoptions and the myriad benefits they offer to both children and families. Preserving Family Bonds Kinship adoption occurs when a child is adopted by a relative or a person with whom they share a significant emotional bond. This could be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, adult sibling, or cousin.. One of the most significant advantages of this arrangement is the preservation of familial connections. Children in kinship adoptions may experience less trauma compared to non-relative adoptions because they are placed in a familiar environment, with people they already know and trust. Continuity of Culture and Identity Children thrive on continuity, and kinship adoption can provide a sense of identity and belonging that is crucial for their development. By staying within their biological family, children can maintain their cultural heritage, traditions, and language. This continuity can help to foster a strong sense of self and supports a smoother transition into their new family dynamic. Strengthening the Support Network Kinship adoption not only benefits the child but also strengthens the support network for the adoptive family. Relatives often have an established relationship and understanding of the child's background and needs. This shared history can make it easier for the family to navigate challenges and celebrate successes together. Legal and Financial Considerations From a legal standpoint, kinship adoption can be more straightforward than other types of adoption. Since the adoptive parents are already related to the child, there may be fewer hurdles to overcome in terms of custody and parental rights depending on the circumstances. Additionally, some states offer financial assistance and resources specifically for kinship adoptions, helping to alleviate potential economic burdens. Emotional Stability and Well-Being Children in kinship adoptions generally benefit from greater emotional stability. They may be less likely to feel abandoned or rejected since they remain within their family unit. This stability is essential for their emotional well-being and may lead to better outcomes in terms of mental health, academic performance, and social relationships. Conclusion Kinship adoption is a compassionate choice that can enrich the lives of everyone involved. It offers a way to keep families together, preserve important bonds, and provide children with the love and security they deserve. As an adoption attorney, I am committed to supporting families through this process, ensuring that the best interests of the child are always at the forefront. If you are considering kinship adoption, we encourage you to explore this rewarding path and discover how it might benefit your family and your loved ones. Learn more about kinship adoption now.
    10 July 2024
    Discover why surprising your stepparent with adoption paperwork isn't feasible, but learn how to approach this heartfelt gesture in a meaningful way. Explore the emotional and legal aspects of stepparent adoption today.
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    In the journey of family-building, assisted reproduction technology (ART) offers a beacon of hope for many intended parents.
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    14 February 2024
    After a period of reflection, many expectant parents consider adoption after pregnancy loss. An adoption attorney can help.
    13 April 2023
    When they want to grow their family, many aspiring parents use a surrogate. A surrogate carries a baby to term on behalf of the parents. Upon birth, paperwork is filed to transfer all rights to the parents.
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    Are you wondering about gender in adoption? Gender in adoption is an interesting and sometimes complicated topic any aspiring adoptive parent should know a little bit about.
    23 February 2023
    Each year, about 135,000 children are adopted in the United States. A significant portion of these have some form of special need. Special needs can arise for many different reasons not limited to disability. Whatever the case, special needs children often require exceptional care, and that can be costly.
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